Happy New Year

Here it is 2010....been awhile since I've been here. With the New Year comes resolutions. So, I'm putting them into writing, not that anyone really cares or wants to read them, but more to keep myself honest and remind myself of what my goals are. I plan to hang this up both at work an home, someplace where it will be in my face so I can kick my ass into gear and stay on track.

I'm not going to do the eat less, exercise more, lose weight resolution. With my current health issues, that's a given. So, I really only have three resolutions for now an they are in no particular order since none are more important or significant than any of the others:

1. Cook more, eat out less and have fun in the kitchen: This one isn't very hard for me. I've recently found that watching Food Network has inspired the inner chef. I'm making better choices in the grocery store, buying less processed foods, pre-packaged foods and making healthier meals. I've decided my next house will need a full gourmet kitchen because this one isn't big enough for me to work with four adults, two dogs and a cat who are almost always underfoot, and I never have enough counter space. Ahh, the thought of a fabulous Viking stove....Now if only that came with someone to clean up after me.

2. Finish a damn book: Okay, so technically, I have finished a book, several in fact. But writing hasn't really been a priority lately. However, I've made some writing decisions thanks to my good bud Sharron and Adrienne Lee, another author who was kind enough to crack the whip on my ass the last month or so. I'm going to try to blog more, not that anyone other than my good friends will read it but it is a very cathartic thing, I've started a food journal that helps keep me honest about my eating habits, so why not a writing journal. I haven't seriously written in such a long time and I have to realize an accept that it's going to be hard to get back into. But it's like exercise, the more you do it, the more you crave it. I have to use those creative muscles to build them up and make them strong. My new matra: Write, dammit!

3. It's just a job: I work full time during the day and although I do love what I do, the place itself is very stressfull. I let it take over at times an I need to stop that. I'm going to leave my job the moment I walk out that door and not take it so seriously. I'm expendable there, I know that, so my job has to be just as expendable in my mind. It's not a career, it's a job. I'm not going to let the negativity of that place destroy my creativity or energy. I won't let them have that much power over me. My new mantra: it's just a job.

I'm starting the New Year with a trip to San Diego to clear my mind and get away from everything and I'm sure Sharron will do some serious ass-kicking while I'm down there which is probably what I need. I'm sure the wine and kleenex will be flowing abundantly. But that's okay, it's what I need. So right now, I'm formulating a story in my head and am going to start writing every day to get that creativity flowing. It's what I want to do and I'm going to do it despite my family, job and real life obligations. This is what I want to do for me. This is what I what for my career.

And I'm the only one that can make it happen.

Movies to Lighten My Mood

I'm in sort of a blue funk today, don't now why but I suspect my family is involved in it somehow, so I pulled out a movie I really love to watch: Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. I lost track how many times I saw it in the theater, but I remember Sharron and I sitting through it and reciting the lines from about half the movie.

I've always been a sucker for pirates. The very first romance novels I read were pirate stories and my most favorite was by Danielle Harmon called My Lady Pirate. It had a typical "bodice ripper" cover (and although I HATE, HATE, HATE that term, it pretty much sums up the covers from the 80's romance novels). Books with female pirates, although my favorite (gotta love kick-ass rebellious females) were hard to come by but even so, if it had a pirate it in, more than likely, I was there. There's just something about them that I loved...maybe I was a pirate in a past life who knows...

I was thrilled when the Pirates trilogy came out. Originally, Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow was my favorite (OMG...when he looks over his shoulder and smiles....sigh)but it didn't take long for Orlando Bloom and James Norrington (especially in the second one) to be added to my "hot guy" list as well . But hot pirate guys aside, the movies (all three) worked well. The cast was enjoyable to watch together and the story lines were good. The third one got a bit plot heavy like they tried to cram too much into one movie, but it was still enjoyable. There are lines from the movie I love ( "This is either madness or brilliance" "Its remarkable how often those two coincide") and just the over all fun tone the movie sets from the moment you see Jack sailing in as his boat sinks. I also love the characterization they did, particularly of Barbosa, so that you relate to him purely on the fact that all he wants in life is to be able to taste an apple again. Even the music is fabulous.

So, with any luck, a trilogy night of all three movies might get me out of this blue funk. Then again, maybe it will just ease it back a bit. Either way, it will still be an enjoyable evening.

Now, WHERE'S THE RUM???????

Oooo, mojitos.....

I've decided my creativity only comes out when I'm out of the house and away from the many, many distractions there, so I'm sitting in a coffee shop near my house typing this. I'm going to try posting to my blog as a warm up to working on my book.

I watched New In Town last night, a movie that didn't do well in the theater. I can see why: it was a funny, entertaining, sweet romance with a happy ending straight out of a romance novel.

Something I'd be proud to write.

I don't know what it is about society hating fairy tale stories. I don't understand what the draw is behind movies with depressing or sad endings, or the obsession to watch movies with blood, gore and grim storylines. I guess they are okay some of the time, but what is wrong with a story about something as basic as romance? Notice I don't say "a love story" because that, at least in the romance industry, is completely different. In most love stories (Horse Whisperer, Titanic, etc) the romance is secondary and almost always has a bittersweet, or in my opinion, not so happy ending. My husband and I argue about this often, but I think last night, watching the movie, he got it. He said to me, "this is the kind of story you write. I could see you writing something like this."

BINGO!

Yes, this is my type of story. That fairy tale, happily ever after, boy meets girl kind of story. Together they overcome conflict and end up together. I would've like to have seen a bit more of their emotional story line, diving deeper into the characters rather than just having the external plot line scratch the surface, but it worked okay. And hey, watching Harry Connick is always a night well spent for me (except he didn't sing...darn it!). So bring on more romance and more happy endings!

So, with that in mind, I'm off to write my own story which will hopefully be just as satisfying and funny as New In Town.

Musings

I sit here at one in the morning, waiting for my popsicle of a daughter to get home from Relay for Life (I told her it was going to be too cold but did she believe mom? Noooooo!) and I'm thinking about where I'm at in my life and wondering how I got here. As little as five years ago I was creating stories in a frenzy, coming up with new ones faster than what I could write them. Now my head is empty and I'm asking myself, what the hell happened???

I know it's me and my problem. Nothing anyone can say or do can change my situation. It has to come from within me. But how? I've tried new stories, tried revising old ones, but nothing is happening. My muse seems to have run off to the Caribbean with a cabana boy or something. I was debating about entering the Emerald City opener, a writing contest from the Greater Seattle RWA chapter to which I belong. But what do I enter?

I have this manuscript, the one that placed in three contests...the one an editor called "trite" (after requesting it and then taking a year and three months to give me that little nugget of wisdom). It was destined for Blaze but no more. That line has changed so much from it's conception, it no longer interests me or fits my writing style. I know my heart truly lies in romantic comedy...Rachel Gibson, Jenny Cruise, Christina Ridgeway, etc... So that means rewrites...big rewrites....on this manuscripit. Could it be this is what's holding me back. This story, which I love, isn't finished. There's some problems with the motivation of my charaters which needs to be fixed and there's two secondary characters who really would like their story told but it doesn't seem they want their own book. Maybe that's the problem. I haven't yet finished this one.

But how do I start? The story is cold in my head now, which is sort of good, sort of bad. It's good because it's a fresh eye, I can see things I wouldn't have seen when I was so close to it a few years ago. But the characters, although still in my head, are now cold. I'm going to have to learn them all over again. But maybe I'll see what I'm missing...what they're missing.

So my goal (yes, I'm putting it in writing for all to see) is to re-write this story. I'm going to start by re-writing the first chapter and, hopefully (hey, don't give me that do or do not crap right now) get the first chapter into the contest by June 1st. That gives me a month. One freakin' month.

Oy vey.

I can do it (she says knowing that's what she's supposed to say but seriously doubting it)! No, I'm going to do it. I have to do it. I need to find this spark in me again because I seriously miss it. I'm wandering around the house trying to fill my time with things that aren't all that interesting to me and feeling sorry for myself. STEP AWAY FROM THE FOOD NETWORK CHANNEL! I need to buck up and get off the pity wagon...and stop whining! Yes, I have middle school and high school graduation in a month, yes my work is driving me insane again, but dammit, I want to be a writer! And the only way to be a writer is to write! I have to find a way to write!

So, staring tomorrow, er, today, I'm going to spend at least an hour writing. My lunch hour will become my personal time. It's nice outside and there's no reason I can't find a little place away from life to spend some time with pen on paper.

I feel so....terrified!

The Hated Muse

Nora Roberts once commented that you couldn't wait for your muse to show up, you had to hunt the bitch down and beat her into submission (I tried to find the exact quote because it's funny, but Google failed me). I'm off work for ten days and had all the intentions in the world of writing, but unfortunately, someone forgot to tell my muse that and she's been off in a bar somewhere, no doubt drunk and picking up ugly men. Several times I've hunted her down but I've decided that not only does she need to be beaten into submission as Queen Nora says, but she needs a good dose of Ritalin for what seems like her short attention span these days. I've been able to round up The Bitch for maybe a chapter but then she's off again, doing something else while I stare at a blank page wondering where do my characters go next. I hate this part of writing. Nothing seems to help any more and I'm beginning to doubt myself and my desire to be a writer. Yes, I have a lot going on my life, but others can write through the stress of daily life, why can't I?

So here I am, once again chasing my muse around the room, trying to get her to focus but she's more slippery than a greased hairless chihuahua and about as much help as my seventeen year old daughter (who IS the center of the universe in her opinion) and it's getting difficult. So here I sit, listening to Harry Connick Jr to get inspired (and irritate the Center of The Universe just for fun), and instead of writing, I play Roller Coaster Tycoon. If Nora were here, she'd be appalled....and more than likely beat me into submission, which is probably what I need. I'd gladly give up my seventeen year old to channel Nora about now (then again, when she's in one of her moods, I'd give my seventeen year old up for pretty much anything)

Once again, the muse has escaped her restraints. Now, if only she'd come home with someone who looked like Roarke.....

Let it snow, let it snow.....

According to my daughter's estimates this afternoon, we received 11 inches of snow last week here in Seattle. The news is saying it'll be the first white Christmas in 18 years.

Yes, Cathy, I can hear you laughing all the way from Alaska.....

I'd probably enjoy it more if I didn't have to venture out in it to go to work. Now granted, I grew up in Wisconsin where 11 inches in a week of snow is a minor inconvenience, however there, it not only is a heck of a lot flatter in terrain but the city knew how to deal with snow. Here, there's hills everywhere (may of which would be classified as "mountains" in WI) and to compound that annoying problem, IF the city does anything, they put down a useless mix of sand and deicer which does squat. They plow a few main roads but the secondary and side streets go unattended making driving near to impossible. They you got the morons driving with chains on the bare pavement....always fun to watch the light show from the sparks they are throwing off or worse, the idiots who are driving like there's NOT really 11 inches of snow.

But what's really disturbing is watching how snow brings out the natural selection process, taking out the human beings whose IQ level is in the range of possibly a cardboard box (can you say Jackass?). Like the teenagers, or twenty-something males who think that tying a sled to the back of a moving car doing 20 mph down the street of their subdivision is an awesome idea and then are actually surprised when the car pulling them stops suddenly and they go smacking into the back of it or that they swing wide and end up going cranium first into car parked at the curb of the street. Or the brain surgeons who sled down the secondary streets thinking they are above the laws of physics and really are going to stop before they get to that perpendicular main road with all traffic.

So, here's to more snow in the forecast and more incidences of sheer stupidity...after all without them, they'd have nothing to report on the news.

Olympic Swimming Fever

I'm not real big into the summer Olympics, but I have to admit I got caught up in the whole Michael Phelps thing but probably not for the reason you think. Yes, it's amazing that he's accomplished what no one else has by winning eight medals, but the reason I found myself wrapped up in it is because when I look at Michael Phelps, I see my son -- both are tall, thin, have big hands and big feet, and have an arm span like a condor. The more I hear about Michael Phelps, the more I see the parallel with my son -- both are ADHD, were bullied and struggled in school. My son also swims, not competitively...but he is part fish.

I pointed this out to my son this week, showing him that despite his hardships and struggles with ADHD and school, this guy accomplished something. Something big! He didn't let anything hold him back from his dream. He worked at swimming and worked hard. He set his sights on something and didn't let anyone tell him he couldn't do it. I told my son he has this same power inside him and when he starts to doubt to think about Michael Phelps.

I truly admire this young man's mother for supporting him throughout the years. From experience, I know at times it's not easy raising an ADHD child. If you don't believe me, think about how you'd feel planning a birthday party for your child only to have no one show up because it turns out he has no friends at school.

Many consider ADHD something imagined. It's not. It's a real neurological condition that varies in severity. There are some kids who manage fine with structure or diet. My son is not one of them. He needs medication to function daily because without it, his mind moves at the speed of light and he loses focus, acts before he thinks and becomes disruptive. He also gets very frustrated with himself for not being "normal" like other kids (he also has Dyslexia which doesn't help). Medicating him was not something we took lightly but when we saw what he was capable of on the medicine, we knew it was a choice we had to make. Is it over-diagnosed? Probably, but that doesn't mean it doesn't really exist.

ADHD has its advantage...strong creativity, high energy, risk taking...my pediatrician always told me that it produced traits that made good CEO material. And it's true...several CEO's are ADHD. My son's favorite phrases are, "Hey, I have a good idea," or "what if..." And he always ask questions. So much so, there's times his father and I want to put duct tape over his mouth just for a few moments of silence! His pediatrician also told me not to worry about my son's build...he always said he had the build of a swimmer or runner. Now I have doctors trying to convince me that he has a condition called Marfans because his arm span is longer than his height (I hear Phelps, who is 6'4" has a 6'7" arm span).

I do everything I can to advocate for my son whenever I can. But that doesn't mean I cut him slack either. I expect him to do his best and not use his ADHD as a reason not to do something. I don't accept "I can't do it." So thanks, Michael Phelps for helping me prove my point. My son probably won't be standing on a platform at the Olympics, but I know he won't let his ADHD get in the way and find successful in his life.