Thursday, March 13, 2008

I was trying to figure out something funny and interesting to write about, but sadly, I got nothin'. I lead, and have led, a pretty damned boring life. I don't get lost in the woods like Cathy, and I don't have online dating adventures like Sharron (thank GOD!!!). I work full time and have children, which pretty much suck up time, energy and brain cells -- which isn't very conducive with having a life.

But even before that, I can't think of one thing interesting to tell you about. I got married at age 22, moved to Atlanta and started working full time. That job was probably the most interesting one I had -- a medical transcriptionist in a hospital pathology lab. We saw some pretty interesting things come through of those tiny little ice cream spoons from someone's stomach and things that make you ask questions like, "what would possess a person to put that in a bodily orifice???" or "Wow, that had to hurt going in...what the hell were they thinking?" The docs that we worked with were an interesting bunch as as hell with a bizarre sense of humor for the most part. They actually started their own personal freak show of various items removed from various individuals who again, found it necessary to put these said items in places not usually reserved for such things (thank God we never had a gerbil come through). Cost to view the freak show was a quarter a viewing. Although once they added the hot pink dildo so huge, it boggled the mind that someone would actually consider using it for anything other than beating a cheating spouse to death and then the cost of admission went up to fifty cents.

Working with these docs was always a learning experience....whether you wanted it to be or not. One question usually resulted in an hour long answer you couldn't help but walk away from thinking, "Wow, that was interesting," or "Ewww, too much information." Like the time I was pregnant with my daughter and the docs were absolutely sure I wanted to see what my body was doing on the inside and pulled me into the lab to show me an example of a uterus and how stretchable it was.

Oh boy.

I also ended up having my daughter in that hospital. It was a constant parade of co-workers in and out of my room while I was in labor--some of them there legitimately to take blood, others just there to cheer me on. One poor young sap had a wife due to deliver in the next three weeks....I'm sure he had nightmares after seeing me in the throws of labor. Looking back, I should've had a clue as to how life with my daughter would turn out....the entire time I watched the breaking news of Jeffrey Dahmer, and when she was actually born, it was amongst tornado and severe storm warnings.

So, now, wasn't that interesting? Hey, you! Yeah, the one snoring in the front row. I asked you a question, dammit! Never mind. I'll just go back to my boring life.


Cathy in AK said...

That WAS interesting. I love medical weirdness, of natural occurance or not. But I'm weird that way.

What else do you have?

(And trust me, the interesting factor has dropped considerably in my life since I was lost.)

Amy Jandrey said...

Uh....thinking,thinking,thinking....there was our honeymoon where Mark decided he wanted to walk out onto the Golden Gate Bridge. I have an extreme fear of heights over water (I think in a past life I fell to my death off a bridge), but I decided to try it anyway. While we were out there, a very large truck went past and the bridge, naturally, shook. I don't remember much after that, but Mark said he had to pry my hands from around the metal beam and carry me off the bridge because I was such a basket case. :) Not very exciting...more like me at the height of being a wus.

Cathy in AK said...

I can sort of relate to the bridge thing. I don't freak out, but every now and again I get this mental image of hurling myself over the side. Maybe I jumped/fell to my death on a bridge in a past life as well.